|—||Kobe Bryant (via fuckyeahlakers)|
By Ulysse Pasquier, writing from Montreal
Anyone who follows football knows the amount of emotion that the sport can bring in a split second. From total despair to intense euphoria, every fan is ought to have experienced his fair share of hair-raising moments. What happened at the Emirates yesterday however transcended all these feelings. Seeing Thierry Henry warm up wearing the Arsenal colors was already a nostalgic treat every Gooner could savor. His match-winning goal however was out of this world and truly of fairytales. Much like a taste or smell that can resurrect forgotten memories, witnessing his so familiar trademark finish brought me back to a time I thought was lost, a time when I first became interested in football because I heard this Frenchman was ruling the pitches of England.
I find it difficult to engage in schadenfreude when it comes to Fernando Torres because he’s so pretty. Sure, it was funny at first – £50m former world’s best striker looking less likely to score six yards away from goal than world’s most hideous face Steve Buscemi at a nightclub – but it’s now become a global source of depression (step aside, financial markets). It’s not easy seeing someone who at one point was such a phenomenal artist that he could easily have been the topic of ‘The Artist’ go through so much misery. Especially since he’s got such a pretty face, such a pretty face.
But Fernando isn’t alone. Torres shares similarities with a certain Elizabeth Grant that go deeper than a fine façade, a sexy silhouette, and tantalising talent. Elizabeth Grant is the musician Lana Del Rey, but Lana Del Rey is the controversial success Elizabeth Grant wasn’t, and in the same manner, the controversial success that Lizzy Grant wasn’t. Lana Del Rey doesn’t really exist, but she is the artist behind what The Guardian have chosen as the finest piece of music in 2011.